Rena Vecchio

All right, so it's been awhile since I've updated this. And unlike a lot of my other entries, I'm leaving a big bulk of this open to the public rather than keep it a secret, because hell, I'm sick of hiding this shit away. This weekend I got the surprise of my life, and definitely not the good kind of surprise. My mother decided to tell my uncle that she wanted to see me, so he paid for her ticket to come up here for a couple days. She left on Tuesday - had to get back to Miami to meet with her parole officer. The last time I saw her in November, she told me that she didn't want anything more to do with me, that I was eighteen years old and I didn't need a mother anymore. That I had ruined her life and her career just by being born. So I sure as hell was not expecting her to turn up on Sunday, Mother's Day of all days. It's one of the worst days of the year for me, not only because of all this shit, but because once upon a time I had a child. But that's a different story. Anyway, she shows up, and I broke the fuck down. Destroyed my room, cut my hands on pieces of a broken lightbulb, and was basically non-functional even with Hydro there to support me. He helped me keep it together when she came down to my room and we started yelling at one another - well, I yelled, she didn't. But whatever. Point is, she finally fucking told me her side of things, which was actually kind of helpful. We're still not all that close, and I don't know if we ever will be, but at least we're on speaking terms and she's acknowledging me as her daughter. It's better than nothing.

Also? I think these are gonna be my last few months in Westbrook. Both Hydro and I are eighteen years old, the work on the studio is ahead of schedule, so why not go down there over the summer? He can finish high school, I'll probably get my GED so that one of us can at least be at the studio full time, and we'll round up Tybs to work for us, so that should help.

Oh, and Eli! What are you doing this summer?

( Private - Massively Long Rant Ahead )

So hey, I guess I've got a goal in mind for after graduation - move to Miami and work on the studio with Hydro. It's an awesome deal we're getting, and I can't fucking wait to get back down south. You northerners can keep your winter, I'm over it.

Also, I know this is pretty fucking late, but I just got home, so cut me some slack. A very happy 19th birthday to my brother Jamison! I have a gift for you, I promise, but the blackouts in New York kind of held it up in getting here.

Aiya, I am officially tired of this winter bullshit. I cannot fucking wait for that competition in Florida. It's only a few days, but it's bound to be better than here. Once I graduate, I am flying south and only coming back for important events. I don't know how you people deal with this shit.

It's been a shitty couple of days for me recently, but all in all I think things are pretty good. My job at the dance studio is solid, my brothers are the shit, and surprisingly enough, I'm doing all right with this bullshit with my mother. It's sad, maybe, but if she doesn't want me in her life, then there's nothing I can really do to change her mind. Clearly, I had to get my stubborn streak from somewhere, and given that I don't know much about my father, I'm going to assume that I got it from her. 

Another interesting development has been the recent invasion of the Miami crowd. Angel's family fostered me for a few months, and through her I met Tybs, who's Hydro's best friend. I apparently met the guys when I was living with Angel, but since it was at parties and stuff, I didn't really remember either of them that well. Except for that one night, but we don't need to talk about that. It's good to have them around - they get where I came from, what kind of life I lived before moving so far north. And they share my absolute hatred of winter.

I feel like I should write more about Hydro, but a lot of the time I don't know how to really put things into words. He somehow wormed his way into my life and became one of the few people I can honestly say that I don't want to live without. I've never been the kind of girl that needs to have a guy in her life in order to feel fulfilled - I think I kind of proved that for most of the time I've been here - but there's a level of trust and caring there that I have never experienced and I kind of like it. The boy gets me, and accepts me for exactly what I am. Which is good, because I'm not changing anything about myself for anyone. It's hard sometimes, opening up to him, but that's just because I've gotten so used to dealing with shit on my own that it's difficult for me to talk about what's bothering me to another person. Regardless, he still deals with my wild ass and the crazy and occasionally stupid shit that I do. But hey, I guess that's what love is, right?

And no, you aren't hallucinating - I used the L-word in reference to another human being. Go me.

I think High School Musical is slowly but surely eating away at my will to live. I've been watching these Disney twits attempt to dance around for the past two days and it's killing me because the choreography is either too simple or too fake-looking. Once I get in there with my own work, though, maybe I'll start liking it more. Who knows. Can we maybe do something a little darker next semester, like Cabaret or Chicago? You know, shows that were originally presented without the aid of Auto-Tune?

In other news, the trip to Miami has been scheduled for November 13th. I won't be there long - I'm leaving Friday afternoon after school and coming back late Saturday night. Unfortunately, unlike Chrissty, I can't just go and invite my friends to hop on a plane with me, but I seriously wish I could. I haven't seen my mom since I was a little kid, but I'm already pretty sure that I know what's going to happen and what she's going to say to me. Who knows, though, even she might manage to surprise me. I kind of wish I could stay longer, mainly because it's actually warm down there, but I'm only there for a day, so I won't have time to get used to it again.

I really have no idea where this was going... it was just better than paying attention in class.

You have got to be kidding me. Me, nominated for Homecoming Queen?

This has got to be some kind of joke. Taylor, did you put my name in or something?

In other news, I'm heading back to Miami for a weekend next month to see my mother. Fun times.